Sunday, November 19, 2006 12:39 PM
Her fingers dance across the keypad. The letters appear, one by one. A message is gradually formed. Frantically, she punches down on 'send'. The screen bleeps, one second, two seconds. It has been sent. A plea for help, a phrase of information. What it means to the receiver, she may never know. She does not want to know.
She fingers the soft keys, feels them beneath her tattered skin. The luminous screen shines in the darkness of the night. The silence grips her neck like a strong hand. She suffocates, she does not want to struggle, she has done enough of that. She simply flops down against the cold floor, wearily closes her eyes. She is in need of a rest.
Beside her, a mobile phone, her mobile phone, levonne's mobile phone drops from her hand. A soft thus may be heard, but she does not want to hear it. Or perhaps, she cannot hear it. Against the white message screen, 7 fateful letters shine. Clear as day, gloomy as night- goodbye.
A tear drips on the screen. One, two, three. Like rain, like crystals, like blood. The screen darkens, just as the night does, just as her mind does. Silence resounds throughout. It is as if she is the only one hearing it, maybe she is. No one arrives. She relaxes, it is time. She lets go.
From her red dress' pocket, an empty glass bottle of pills fall out. It shatters, as her soul does, into a million little pieces.What a pathetic story. But ohwells, I didn't even think twice when I typed it out. I just wrote what came to mind. During this counting down period, I am getting more bored than ever. I have been, due to the countless requests from fellow friends, searching for a new skin. But blogskins.com is under upgrade.
I feel like typing and typing again. The touch of the kepboard wil prevent me from being bored. So maybe the post wil be nonsensical. But sometimes the problem with me is that I dono what to blog about. I kinda miss the entire debate series. I could never be bored, frustrated yes but never boredom. I want it back, I want the thrill, the passion, the anxiety, the nervousness. They have slipped through my fingers, never do return. why must everything come to an end. Yes I know about impermanence. but, I just want to stop the clock from moving. Can that irritating second hand just freeze in time?
I guess not.
In my last post I was uncontented. Maybe I can say I was greedy. There are certain things I know i cannot have and thus should not try gaining. Due to circumstances, there are some things that I have been forced to give up. They are beyond me. I can only envy others, smile at what others have and what I do not. Find something else to console myself about.
Is that I am really destinied to do?
I DONO DONO DONO. ......
I guess I should live life as it is. I should take what I have and what I do not in my stride, not compare with others. Perhaps such comparison is not fair. But it is inevitable, isn't it? Sometimes, I myself do not know anything about myself.
blogthings will provide a better answer, true or not I do not care. i just want an answer. period.
;just_[answer]me
