Saturday, November 11, 2006 11:35 AM
I am sorry to everyone. I have not updated for about 6 days. Debating as effectively managed ot keep me busy. I have started another cycle of sleeping at about 12 every night. However, I think the work is all worthwhile, even if it has caused me some mild exhaustion. I never did think we would make it ot the top 2, esp after our failure during the sparring with 6M. But I guess believing in the impossible isn't that unrealistic either.
We are in top 2, with 6M. For this, I am already contented. Being 1st would be a bonus, thus leaving beautiful last memories before I leave nanyang. However, I am 4th speaker, opponent to cheryl. There is an almost 0% chance I will compare the cases better than her. But what I can and shall do is to try to narrow the gap between us. It is up to the rest of them ot try their best. I tink they will do fine, since this entire debating experience has taught me something very important, something I used to lack.
I have learnt to trust others. Even if they appear to not be able to succeed, I have learnt that I need to give them my faith. I need to believe in them and not fault them. There were times when during this entire process where I even doubted myself. But now I know that I need to believe in myself, to believe that I am good enough, that I will do everything in my capacity to make my belief a realistic one. Trust- that is how powerful it is.
I shall trust that my team and I will do our very best, that we do have the potential to win. I know that we still may lose. But we have to believe in the impossible, unlikely and even the possible. And one more thing, I think I have been abit insensitive to my teammates. Sometimes I fail in controlling my emotions well enough. If there were instances where I stepped on your toes or wdv, forgive me. Sorry for those times when I needed to be but wasn't.
Enough about debate, since the preparation for the finals is already more or elss done. We are as ready as we can ever be. And if we are bound to lose then we will still lose even with another year worth of preparation. But I tink we are okay. There is a very minor problem in the preparation which has alot of impacts. I shall only say this when the whole thing is over! believe in the impossible
I still remember one night before the reopening of school this year in January. My cousins were all talking about their encounters in secondary school and how fun it was and everything. I was hating myself for being stuck in P6. I wanted to fly one year ahead straight away. At furst, the year went really slowly, the soon it just flew past. I still need to remind myself that in a few months I will be the youngest in a school again. This year has been the most enriching among all of my primary school years. I hve rally learn alot, and when I say this I mean it in the emotional and psychological aspect.
Most importantly, I have gotten confidence in speaking and evrything else. I no longer have stage-fright. For this, I have to thanks mrs ortega, and debating and also cheryl. Cos most of the time i was envying her. In this debates, she has helped me learn alot, simply by watching her performances. Thanks, though you are still miles better than me. Maybe one day I will be on par or even better than you. I hope for that day to coem much earlier.
I can feel it in my skin that this boredomof daily life is causing another teary period ot come. Ok, I mean sad-for-no-reason period. I usually don tear that easily. I know I will be fine even with it, and thta it will enable me to learn even more. For now, however, lets all focus on our graduation. I hope I do not cry, but if I see other ppl crying i tink I shall too. If I manage to do well enough to be in the top 15 or top 10, I may cry too, though not on-stage. But I tink that chance is slim. Very slim. The results are only about 12 days away.
Hope for the best everyone, we all gave our all. We may be going seperate ways but good luck all your future endeavours. This phrase is really becoming my catch-phrase. I am always relying on it for support, and so I shall say it once again.
-believe in the impossible
