Everything will change, but love remains the same.

Monday, October 30, 2006 8:42 PM

Sometimes these days I wonder why i feel a tinge of a sensation even I myself cannot quite place whenever I look at families. Complete ones at that. Generally I prevent myself from thinking of his departure, cos sometimes I cannot control myself all that well as I usual can and I do not want an outburst. Highly unlikely but still possible. I won't want that to happen.

Sometimes I imagine how life would be without the departure. happier? perhaps. Whenever I see a group of parents and their kids on the road, I somehow see myself in that kid, the myself that could have been. But the key word here is 'could have been' that implies that something possibel has not happened. has not happened. I wouldn't say I want to turn back time. Time can't be turned back now. Or even if it can, then time would have lost all its meaning. To be able to reverse events and happenings, we would never have a life!

Other than the departure, which I do not want to talk about too much, not because I am sad but because I have talked enough about it, something has been in my mind for a long time. A taboo topic, as it seems with many ppl. But I think it is something beautiful, something worth experiencing, instead of being as tragic as some describe it as.

Yepp I have been thinking about love. Perhaps a little bit in the romantic sense, but not completely so. somehow, I think it is beautiful.

Maybe cos I hvae never experienced romantic love before. But somehow, I think before who resent it are overly negative. Or perhaps it will take the real experience itself to truly understand why they feel so.

I sometimes find it hard to take any stand. I believe everyone has good intentions so no one is wrong. Thats why I never hate teachers cos its not their fault that they don have talent. Thats why I never hate anyone cos its not their fault that they have such a manner of behaving and acting. And also because there is a possibility that it is my fault and not theirs.

But during those moments before I fall asleep these few nights, I think of what love is. But my conclusion is that it cannot be defined but only felt. Sometimes there are sensations that aren't supposed to be described. That ruins the beauty of it in itself.

I dono why some mothers can sacrifice so much for their children. Love must have lots of power. He gave me lots of it. That I am sure of and am happy about.

I have a gut feeling another sad contemplating period is coming up. But I am not shocked. They will be over soon. But I will control myself just as I have the last times. And I will try not to blog sadly, it seems so moanful and exxagerated. I will keep my emotions to myself and show a happy side.

Sometimes when I show alot of my happy side I start to believe I am happy too! Yepp of cos I am. I am the happiest person in the whole world.

believe