Monday, July 14, 2008 6:47 PM
i need to spare properly
i need to stay positive
i need to release consistently
i need to suppress the pain
i need to bowl well
i feel like strangling myself!doubles was bad bad bad bad bad
sometimes i feel like a terrible cycle repeats.
i always seem to almost lose hope
then that last desire to get better, or my doubles partner, or just the fighting spirit, or the cheering
gets me back again
all filled up with energy and drive
and then it just all vanishes again
ohmyohmyohmy terrible mental! tsktsk
but the promise really came true wanqi!
we both said we'd try to finally cry today
and we both did!
though obviously with contrasting effects
after you cried you fought back harder than before (i'm veryveryvery happy for you)
but after i half-cried, i just went lower/remained the same
well half-cried considering no tears actually came out!
the tears always well up but don't flow out
i bet it's cos there's some queer probem with my tear ducts :D
now for the happy happy happy things
after cdiv jan, lynn and i were so devastated by our scores
that we went to cineleisure and did stuff
we talked about many things hee hee
and it was nice to just listen and talk and laugh
what was amazing was that, hanging out with them makes me eat so much more than other friends
we ate so much omg
1) lunch at occ
2) 300grams of famous amos cookies
3) dimsum
4) this huge mango ice desert
and the mango ice desert thing was so cold we were shivering inside the place
like seriously shaking and jittering
we should go out some other day and just spend the whole day eating from morning till night
7 meals a day or something:
breakfast, brunch, lunch, teabreak #1. teabreak #2. dinner, supper
ah gluttons gluttons
but the eating really cheered all 3 of us up ALOT
is this considered as binging?
but yes it was really happy and for those few hours i didn't think about anything
the one amazing thing about cdiv is that you find out
that beyond all the lousy scores and all the tears
your teammates are the awesomest
and what really matters is that they are there behind you all the way
so maybe that was what i was trying to tell myself all this while
so for quartet, i'll repeat the cycle again
i'll refill myself with the strongest hopes
(bowl like i smile, righttt)
tag replies
jan: haha i see your craze hasn't ended. you're bowling amazingly okay stay happy(: goodluck for quartet we'll fire up
stacy: not anymore. it's so dead now ):):): revive it ahhh i should go bury it in the tagboards' graveyard
wanqi: eh congrats on high game okay! you're awesome man. we managed to cry today yay SUCCESS. goodluck for the remaining days esp quartet. your team must fight hard
lynn: haha yeahyeah we'll make it true okay. never say cannot
stacy: aiy you sec ones. goodluck tomorrow k
cae: yupyup okay (:
stacy: go tell rachael that. she'd smile for ages teeheehee
shiyin: which is why i shouldn't watch the notebook and cry even MORE cannot cannot!
rachael: stacy say you very cool i say you very not cool. yay now there's GOLDEN MEAN cos balance out
huayang: yeah okay you too yeah! i'll link you soon (:
lynn: the "some other thing" is my cloth. it was completely white this morning okay, at the end of 6 games it's almost black. rawh! cheerup doubles we'll make our amazing comeback in the distant future :D
